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A to Zion: The Definitive Israeli Lexicon, by Gilad Atzmon, Enzo Apicella
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A to Zion - The definitive Israeli Lexicon is a fictitious alphabetic satirical lexicon.
A is for Anti-Semites and for Arabs, B is for BBC and Britain, and so on for the entire alphabet. This book is for everyone.
Containing important and eye-opening definitions like:
Bar Mitzvah -- the moment when the male Jew accepts that his foreskin is not going to grow back
Canaan -- the land of milking money
Catch 22 -- free ham
Humus -- a traditional Jewish Polish vegetarian dish brought to the Middle East by Zionist pioneers. Not to be confused with Hamas
Jewish mother -- Just like a Jewish father but with balls
Water -- is vital for all known forms of life except Palestinians
If you happen to be troubled by the book's content, perhaps this book is not for you or perhaps you think it is about you.
- Sales Rank: #1121911 in Books
- Published on: 2015-02-07
- Original language: English
- Dimensions: 8.98" h x .55" w x 6.06" l, .54 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 107 pages
About the Author
Enzo Apicella was born in Naples, Italy in 1922. Apicella is well known as one of the world's greatest cartoonists and interior designers
Gilad Atzmon was born in Ramat Gan, Israel in 1963. He is an international Jazz artist as well as a writer. Gilad is the author of the best selling book The Wandering Who?
Most helpful customer reviews
8 of 9 people found the following review helpful.
 Infamous for his earlier book, “The Wandering Who ...
By Eugene Schulman

Infamous for his earlier book, “The Wandering Who?: A Study in Jewish Identity Politics” (2011), Gilad Atzmon has collaborated with Italian cartoonist and interior designer, Enzo Apicella to produce “The Definitive Israeli Lexicon, A to Zion”.
Since the publication of “The Wandering Who?” Atzmon has been vilified and dragged through the mud of slander by the Jewish/Israeli establishment, accused of anti-Semitism and being a self-hating Jew. Born in Israel of Jewish parents, and having served in the IDF, Atzmon became disenchanted, to say the least, with Israel and its policies in Palestine and against the Palestinian people. He moved to England to follow a career in jazz music as a talented saxophone player, and put himself through university where he studied philosophy and earned a masters degree.
Atzmon has been on the road playing concerts and lecturing on the meaning of his book for a number of years, and despite the criticisms of it, it still sells widely and has had an enormous influence on public opinion of Judaism and Israeli policies. The same public who were moved by Walt and Mearsheimer’s book, “The Israeli Lobby”, are moved by Atzmon.
The book under review is, on the surface, of a much different nature. “A to Zion” is intended to be a book of humor, attacking the shibboleths of Zionism. But, as we know, Jewish humor is directed at itself and is often self deprecating. Atzmon uses it often in his lectures and conferences. And in his travels he has picked up a lot of this humor and translates it in this book as jabs against Zionism. A short aphoristic book of only a hundred or so pages, it is designed to alphabetically define certain aspects of Zionism and Zionist personalities in one-liner jabs. Interspersed throughout are delicious cartoons by Apicella, a cartoonist I have never encountered before this book. His drawings are clever enough to be editorial cartoons in any newspaper. They probably are in Italy.
Here are just a few of the one liners that grab attention:
* Aliya - Jewish immigration to Israel; initially it was supposed to solve the Jewish question. In practice, it just moved it to a new location.
* Bar Mitzvah - the moment when the male Jew accepts that his foreskin is not going to grow back.
* Humour, Jewish - diverts attention from the problematic symptoms by means of self-deprecation.
* Zionism - a false promise to take the Jews away and to give the goyim a break.
Please, run out and buy a copy of this book. It will knock a hole in all your prejudices.
Reviewed by Gene Schulman
May 20, 2015
17 of 22 people found the following review helpful.
Gilad Atzmon: The Jewish Ambrose Bierce?
By Kevin J. Barrett
Gilad Atzmon has been accused of being a "self-hating Jew" and a "self-hating Israeli." In this book he asks, "Is there any other kind?" Gilad and co-author Enzo Apicella offer a trenchant and hilarious critique of Jewish identity and identity politics, disguised as a lexicon that echoes the sardonic humor of Ambrose Bierce's Devil's Dictionary. This brutally honest and incisive take on ethnic humor may not please Abe Foxman's acolytes, who are appalled by the truthfulness of Joel Stein's "Who Runs Hollywood? C'mon!" and other schticks that tell too much truth. Funny how such people don't seem to mind Mel Brooks' The Producers making fun of such ostensible Jewish traits as greed, Germanophobia, and a fast and loose relationship with truth. Maybe it's because Brooks exudes affection for his (ostensibly) greedy, Germanophobic, lying tribe; while Atzmon is disgusted by the genocide in Occupied Palestine, and believes that a certain pathological tribal narcissism in Jewish culture is partly responsible. for that ongoing atrocity. So Atzmon's humor, unlike that of Brooks, ultimately critiques rather than celebrates Jewish culture. Since Jewish culture, more than any other culture, is off-limits to criticism, Atzmon is violating a major taboo by pointing out its foibles and failings. Anyone who defects from the genocidal Zionist project and calls it out, as Atzmon has, is going to take a lot of heat; throw in this kind of taboo-shredding cultural critique and you have a formula for getting yourself verbally lynched by the small-minded guardians of tribalist political correctness. Atzmon has suffered his share of verbal lynchings and this book will probably draw more from the usual humorless nitwits. That will just make the rest of us laugh even harder.
3 of 4 people found the following review helpful.
A rare combination of thoughtful and funny. The description of Noam Chomsky tells you what ...
By mara
A rare combination of thoughtful and funny. The description of Noam Chomsky tells you what the book aims at. It is surprising, provoking and has a lot of truth to it and pays for the book by itself! A great gift for people who think they know all and have matters of Palestine lined up like ducks in a row. Clear the way for some explosions in your mind.
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